Andrew wrote in with a brilliant question:
Is it better to be yourself or act out of the comfort zone?
Lots of people say “be yourself.”
But “yourself” is actually always changing.
None of us are a photograph.
We are all a filmstrip.
And as such we’re always constantly moving and evolving.
The person you are now is very different from how you were 10 or even 20 years ago.
So instead I always say:
Be the person you want to be.
As we are always changing, then choose the right direction in which to change.
Decide right now.
What type of person would you love to become next?
What character traits, skills or personality would you love to have?
Be thinner, fatter, kinder, harsher, a better listener, a better talker, more energetic, or be more laid back?
It’s all up to you, only you have the power to decide and become like that.
No one else can do it for you.
And how do you get there?
Well, as I mentioned before we are all the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
So actively hang out with people who have the personalities and skills you’d like to have.
Watch how they move. See how they think.
Study them on Youtube. Read their biographies.
You’ll very soon find yourself changing your mindset and seeing how they got to where they are.
Sometimes that’s all you need.
But very often you’ll also need to put in some actual work.
And that’s where coming out of your comfort zone comes in.
It’s the only way to grow.
Because if you stay where it’s easy, that’s all you’ll ever be.
But push in the right direction, take the right paths, learn the right attitude and work *smart* to get to where you want to be…..
You’ll always make it, no matter what it is you want to change.
So the answer to the question is …..
Be the person you want to be and always push out of your comfort zone!
Be genki,
Richard
P.S. As always, do leave your comments!
Very interesting question! And thought-provoking answer!
Maybe “being who you want to be” *is* outside of one’s comfort zone — maybe just a step or two. But by choosing one or two behaviors, one can practice it, and make it part of a new, improved, large comfort zone.
I admire the people who bungee-jump right out of their comfort zone, but it’s not for me at my time of life (-:. I do try to keep growing, though. (-: I hardly ever think of it in terms of “what I want to be” but rather, “oh, wow, this is cool! Let’s pursue it!”
I’d probably be more successful if I’d focus (-:. But I’m having fun, so that’s something.
What a great advice, especially for those tender in years. As you mentioned, they are so malleable to get molded into something that represents people they are hanging around with most of their time.
I for one, though, has had a little bit different experience. In my case, after witnessing or interacting with some devious/dubious aspects of someone who were close to me, I learned a lesson and simply walked away, washing my hands of those unsavory stuff. As you may already know, there’s this Japanese expression “han-men-kyoushi” (‘negative mentor’, if translated literally), which means “some unsavory person who turned out to be a good lesson to help you turn your back on the kind of stuff those devious people do. Do you have any counterpart in English vocabulary? I’m just curious. Thanks.
(Eigo-Kyou-shitsu) Lingo-Field, Sendai, Miyagi, Japan
So very true!
I love how you’re blog is not only discussing teaching, but also personal development in both teachers and the students 😉
A lot of this I learned when studying kindergarten teacher, but sometimes a reminder is needed.
I don’t think this has the same nuance as “hanmenkyoushi” but, “If you can’t be a good example, you can be a horrible warning.” I’m pretty sure we have other sayings that mean that. “A wise man learns from others’ mistakes” would probably be more formal and old-fashioned.
I like this question. I agree that sometimes the only way to be different is to ‘act’ like a slightly different person for long enough for it to feel natural and it does become a part of who you are. It’s good to think carefully about whether you really do want to be that person! There’s a fear that people who like you for who you are might feel uncomfortable with the new you, but often they are pleasantly surprised.
Nothing is set in stone, but there are strong genetic influences to overcome. I’m not sure whether they can ever be overcome entirely, but.. you don’t know until you try!
Being on your toes, is a requirement for an interesting Life, so stepping out of your confort zone, make your life fuller, more exciting I think, the same principle we have to take when you are teaching English: I remember when I started to teach English, I kept all my notes from the classes of the year before, thinking: ” This formula works, why to change it?” I was so wrong, I started the same way the next year, and I noticed that my students were not responding the way I expected, so I had to improvise, and everything changed for the better, Of course the notes only help me to keep the direction, but I’m always getting better. I think going out of your confort zone, with some experience is a lot better. Don´t you think?
So encouraged to read this today. Sometimes I do need reminding to strive for who I want to be and surround myself with positive influences. Thank you, this came at just the right time, along with the video from Africa and the impact of education, I’m feeling more encouraged and “Genki” to continue this mission of teaching.
Finding the right attitude to carry on! Teaching is great in spite of the difficulties. Every student is a surprise that needs to be discovered and this demands effort (getting out of your comfort zone). Luckily, this is also rewarding for the teacher because it implies learning from the student and thus growing in knowledge and resources.
In about ten days, we’re re-starting our classes after the holidays and this idea is coming just at the right time!
It’s true that once in a while we need to step out from the comfort zone. This often needs a lot of courage. But I believe it is worthwhile for what we’ll learn and what we would want to be later.